Hi there! My name is Kia. Thank you for taking a peek into who I am! I am an incredibly proud aunt to my two tremendously special nephews, Carter and Weston. I am a daughter, sister, sister-in-law, and I get to be a friend to some pretty amazing human beings. Years before I ever knew anything about infertility or that it would be a part of my life, I told my mom that I hoped to have the chance to give to a child that was not my own, what God had given me. Goodness, love, and an opportunity to reach for the stars.
Someone said, “The love of family and the admiration of friends are much more important than wealth and privilege.” I learned a long time ago that the things you can’t buy end up being what matters the most. And while God had a specific plan in mind about how and when I would begin a family of my own, being a “mom-aunt” to my nephews (as my sister has called me) has been one of the most fulfilling and amazing experiences of my life.
Thanks again for coming by to learn a little bit about me! If you dare to find out more, I hope you begin to feel some of the goodness, love, inherent joy, and strong desire to give that I carry with me.
I have lived in Indiana for most of my life, with the exception of the years I spent in graduate school on the east coast. I also briefly lived in Pompano Beach, Florida but couldn’t take all of the heat and humidity. LOL! Not to mention finding the occasional small lizard in my bathroom. (Cool, but eek!)
I have been blessed with two careers. The one I am passionate about most is the career growth business I started. I truly love helping people discover what they want to be, and then helping them get there. I volunteer to work with adults, college students, and high school students as they strive to figure out what their professional footprint is going to be in this world. I always say, “If Google Maps can come up with a few options to get you to where you want to go, just imagine what God can do!”. I am also an Information Security Manager in my full-time role, and I make sure that people’s personal information is protected from cyber criminals.
Growing up, my sister Alicia and I enjoyed home-cooked meals almost every day. In fact, sometimes we wanted to say, “enough with the leftovers!” My mom has always been an amazing cook, which she inherited from both sides of her family. Every Saturday and/or Sunday morning growing up we had a big breakfast that was some combination of Belgian waffles, bacon, eggs, grits, biscuits, and toast. But more than the food itself, many of my favorite memories are of moments being in the kitchen with my mom and my sister – and sometimes with extended family – listening to music, laughing, talking, and cooking together. Holidays have always been a time for big family gatherings; we play UNO, Monopoly, Taboo, eat way too much food, and watch movies. We celebrate being together. We celebrate being loved ones.
Christmas is my favorite holiday. Followed by Thanksgiving. Growing up, my mom always bought a Douglas Fir Christmas tree. The fresh pine smell would fill our entire house and I can still remember the apples, wooden ornaments, icicles, and the angel at the very top. To this day, my sister and I both buy Christmas real trees almost every year.
I was raised to believe that the value of something isn’t tied to a price tag, but to the care you give it and what it means to you. I was taught not to spend more money than I had, and I was taught to look at myself first before searching for blame elsewhere. I was raised not to be a complainer. And to always remember that no matter what I may be facing or going through, someone else somewhere in the world is going through something much harder.
I am so grateful for an abundance of people in my life from different races, ethnicities, backgrounds, and experiences. I believe there are few things on this planet more powerful than difference. My family’s history going back to my maternal great-great-grandfather and beyond, is very diverse. I have a white great-great-grandfather, countless transracial cousins, a white brother-in-law, and transracial nephews.
My mom had friends from all backgrounds. She raised my sister and I to choose the people who were going to be in our lives based on how they treated us (and other people) and what kind of person they were. Not what they looked like. And I have been super fortunate to have friends from all over the world and different walks of life. Heaven isn’t going to have continents or be broken into racial groups. It’s just going to be Heaven!
I try to walk the earth each day with goodness, gratitude, a spirit of giving, and with an attitude of treating others with the same level of kindness that I would want for myself. No matter what they look like or where they come from.
These are the values that I hope to have the chance to instill in a little one someday.
My nephews are teenagers now. And I feel beyond blessed that I have been able to be an intimate part of their lives since they were born. They have taught and impacted me so much. I probably let them get away with too much when they were younger, like turning me into a human jungle gym and spilling ice cream in my SUV, but I wouldn’t change a single moment.
When Carter and Weston were younger, we’d have sleepovers. Sometimes I’d make them bubble baths. Ice cream was definitely on deck. We’d play board games like Sorry and Monopoly. We would watch fun stuff like the Bee Movie, Madagascar 2, Shrek, Open Season, Star Wars movies, Cars/Cars 2/Cars 3, and of course the Disney Channel. I love big breakfasts on the weekends like my mom used to make for my sister and I. So I’d make pancakes, waffles, or French toast. Plus, eggs, bacon, and strawberries or blueberries. I make a pretty mean spaghetti, so if we didn’t order pizza, that’s what they wanted! It is my dream to someday share all of this with a baby as they grow up. And pass on some of the special recipes and family traditions that have been so meaningful to me.
I started calling my nephews “gentlemen” if I wanted to get their attention for something when they were still in pull-ups, and long before they would ever know what the term meant. Because I believe that there is power in what we call children, especially little ones. And it’s so funny because they couldn’t necessarily pronounce the word “gentleman,” nor did they ever ask me what it meant or why I called them that, but they always responded.
My sister and brother-in-law have done an incredible job of allowing my nephews to try all sorts of different activities and support every interest the boys have had throughout their lives. Being able to see the boys discover new interests, places, people, food, challenges, and experiences has made me the happiest aunt in the world! And my prayer is that I have the chance to give those same types of opportunities and discoveries to a child(ren) of my own someday.
I can’t wait to see the types of cousins or honorary “big brothers” that Carter and Weston will be to my child(ren) someday. They’ve asked me over the years if I wanted to be a mom. Weston once told me, “I think you’d be a good mom because you’re always thinking of how you can help someone.” Carter thinks I’m always full of good energy. Well at least they don’t think their aunt is chopped liver! LOL
God placed in my heart a desire to adopt a long time ago. In fact, I wasn’t interested in dating anyone who wasn’t open to having at least one adopted child. That isn’t to say that I wasn’t planning on having children biologically. I just knew in my heart that I wanted to have children. When the time came to start a family, I learned through several tests that my chances of having children were quite slim. It turns out that God planted that desire to be an adoptive parent so long ago because He knows best. And I can’t wait to meet the little one that I get to love, raise, and support.
I live in a two-story home, in a quiet suburban neighborhood. It’s a short driving distance from good schools, really nice parks, and play areas. Seems like everyone has a dog or two, and there are cats and squirrels always having the time of their lives just outside of my patio doors. I feel really fortunate to have such nice neighbors who look out for each other.
This past Halloween I went to my best friend’s house who lives nearby. Her neighborhood was busy with trick-or-treaters and families hosting friends with fires and music.
On the weekends I enjoy frequenting local shops, having brunch with friends at one of my favorite breakfast restaurants, hanging out with my mom, grabbing coffee with my best friend, or supporting my nephews at one of their events.
I think my family and friends are just as enthusiastic about the possibility of me being a mom someday, especially my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and two best friends. My sister and I talk almost every day, sometimes several times a day. She is a phenomenal mother so for her to tell me, “Your willingness to emotionally invest in others means you’ll be present and dedicated and always prioritizing a child’s well-being and growth. I know you’ll create a loving and stable foundation for a child.” means more than she knows.
I feel beyond blessed to have so many loved ones standing by to be a grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousin, babysitter, and general support. I live in pretty close proximity to both family and friends, even walking distance to some. I am also fortunate to have great support from co-workers, peers, and bosses at work who share common values and beliefs.
⮚ Travel
My love for travel began in grade school. My mom would plan spring break and sometimes summer trips for us when she could. They were mostly road trips. We would get into the minivan and travel south to the Carolinas, north to New England, or out west. And I always loved driving over flying. There’s something special about seeing mountains, hills, rivers, and lakes up close. It was important to her that we were able to discover what God made as well as what man made. I’ve also studied abroad in Italy. Traveled to Dubai, Mexico’s Pacific coast, Canada, and 38 states.
⮚ Photography
I began taking tons of pictures of my nephews when they were born, which grew into an interest in photography. Who knew!? Now I’m no photographer by any stretch, but I do have a pretty good eye…or so my best friend tells me. I have a passion for capturing nature, landscapes, food, and my favorite – people! I’ve taken photography classes and made connections with professional photographers as well.
⮚ Geography
I am a map and atlas collector. There’s something really cool about knowing where you are in the world in relationship to everything else. My mom bought a globe and a bunch of encyclopedias for my sister and I when we were little. That’s when my interest in geography started. I like knowing where mountain ranges, island chains, seas, countries, remote islands, and cities are in relationship to other places. I love that big picture point of view!
⮚ Coffee!
I have a passion for discovering and tasting different types of coffee beans from around the world, especially central America and Europe. I make my own coffee combinations by experimenting with various coffee beans and grinding them together.
If I’m fortunate to become a mom through adoption someday, it will be with a heart of honesty, openness, and joy. I am determined to provide a home that is built from warmth, goodness, love, and especially truth and openness. My endless hope as a parent is that he or she will know without doubt that they are loved and there is an abundance of love in this world just for them. If I can help foster that belief in them, then I’ve done something right. And one of the ways that I plan to express my love is by sharing and communicating with the child’s birth family, if they’re comfortable doing so.
As an adoptive parent, I would also begin telling a little one their birth story very early on. As they grow and their questions grow, my goal will always be to have open conversations with them that are wrapped in compassion, empathy, and truth. I don’t think being an adoptive parent is at all about me. It’s about the role I can potentially play in helping a child grow up feeling whole in who they are and proud of who they are. Surrounded by kindness, love, the resources to achieve, a strong support network, and with a strong belief in and certainty of all the threads woven into the fabric of who they are.
Dear Birth Families
From the very bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for taking a moment to learn more about me. I won’t pretend to know how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what your circumstances are, what you’ve been through, or what you’re facing in your life. My prayer for you is that you receive goodness, grace, kindness, compassion, empathy, love, and peace throughout your life’s journey. And I pray that you also give kindness, love, and compassion to yourself throughout your journey.
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