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Hello! We are Rodney and Crystal. It’s nice to “meet” you. We are a transracial couple hoping for a bundle of joy to join our family through the love of adoption. For the majority of our profile, I (Crystal) will be your narrator. That completely tracks with our personalities – I am the more outgoing one, while Rodney is more quiet and introverted (until you get him talking… then he may not stop!). You will notice throughout this introduction that there are song titles used as headers. That is totally a “Crystal thing.” My dad was a musician and music has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember.
Rodney and I have been married for 12 years and together for a total of 17. Rodney is a tax officer, which means he crunches numbers and “enjoys” payroll taxes for work. I am a people leader within the HR field, so there are HR systems, employee relations, and everything in between happening in my work life. Doesn’t that make us sound like the most fun couple ever?! During the week, after work, you may find us taking our dog, Maximus, to the park to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. On a typical Saturday, you can find us watching a football or basketball game together, followed by movie night at home. We try to take trips from time to time to get away from the norms and share new experiences. Basically, we are up for any adventure as long as we are together.
Rodney and I met online in 2007. We chatted for several days with the intent to just be friends. But the moment we met, that quickly changed. We began spending one-on-one time together and before we knew it, we were inseparable. It’s almost as if we knew each other in a previous lifetime. We could talk for hours about life in general or deeper-level conversations around goals, family, career and such. The “L-word” came pretty soon after, but it felt like we’d known (and loved) each other much longer than we actually had.
Rodney is quiet, but strong. He is fierce in his love, but protective of his heart. At first glance, people may make assumptions. But, if you take the time to observe, listen, invest in getting to know him, Rodney will touch your heart. Because of his hearing impairment, he spent much of his life overlooked and underestimated; however, he is one of the most intelligent, brilliant minds I have ever known.
Rodney has a good sense of humor; he enjoys ironic comedy as well as slapstick. Once you get to know him, he will allow you to see his silly side – but he often reserves that for people who are close to his heart. He is one of the most thoughtful people I have ever known. He pays close attention to things others may overlook. He thinks of others and makes the effort to show them he cares. He will bring me flowers simply because it’s Tuesday. Rodney sees a need for recognition, love, or a token of thoughtfulness, and he fills that void without a second thought.
Rodney shows his adventurous side in the kitchen. Early in our relationship, he would cook from time to time. But he’s grown to enjoy it and express himself (and his love) through making a home-cooked meal for his family. He makes the best chocolate chip pancakes that any child is sure to love!
Loving Rodney is so much a part of who I am, and being loved by him makes me feel confident to tackle whatever life throws at us. I knew early on that he would be a wonderful, dedicated father, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime of trying to make that a reality. He is very protective of me and Maximus, so I know, without a doubt, he will love and protect a child without limitations.
Crystal is one of the best people I’ve had the privilege of knowing. If I were to describe my wife in 5 adjectives, I would say: beautiful inside and out, insightful, passionate, down to earth, and a person who is capable of showing love in all 5 love languages. I would consider my wife to be the best part of me. She is both my weakness and my strength.
My wife gives so much of herself to others. Sometimes, I see other people take and take, but not give anything back. Crystal manages a team and has been for several years. She is the manager I wish I had. She cares and checks in with each person on the team, she supports and mentors them and she recognizes and spoils them with care packages. I have never had a manager like her and feel like she is a unicorn. Rare, unique, but special and legendary. My wife makes people feel seen and heard – including me.
Early in our relationship, I discovered my wife could bake. She makes the most delicious muffins and brownies! I am hoping, once we have a child in our home, she will bake more! The same with singing. I found out Crystal could sing when we were dating. Even with my hearing impairment, I can appreciate the love and soul that comes from my wife when she sings. She brought my grandfather to tears when she sang “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” at a birthday gathering for my mom. It makes me so proud to be her husband when she touches people like that.
I think my wife was scared of becoming a mother when she was younger. But, I always tell her: “If you weren’t scared, then it wouldn’t be important to you.” I know without a doubt that she will be a great mother. Encouragement and nurturing come naturally to her, so any child who blesses our home will have a built-in “cheerleader” from day one.
Rodney and I had difficult childhoods and upbringings in our own ways. Both of us were raised by single mothers and, even in the early years, worried where our next meal would come from or if the lights/heat might be turned off because of an unpaid bill. However, we used our past as motivation to go after the lives we wanted instead of allowing it to hold us back.
Like any parent-child relationship, Rodney’s relationship with his mom has its challenges, but he would do anything for her – even if it means dropping everything and driving 2 hours to help her with something. She’s very supportive of our adoption journey and can’t wait to be a grandma!
Our support system is mainly made up of the incredible friends we’ve chosen to be our family. There is a circle of friends I met at church when I was 17, and we continue to do life together. I can call any of them at a moment’s notice and they will come running. I am so lucky to have those ladies in my life after 25 years. Before I met Rodney, I worked for a company where I also built so many lifelong friends. One friend has become my bonus-mom and someone I can wholeheartedly rely on (she was “mother of the bride” at my wedding). She and her husband embraced Rodney immediately. Another friend and her husband are a couple who have been a very important part of our support system; we sit around the Thanksgiving dinner table and celebrate other holidays with them. All of this to say, our support system is strong and mighty. We have so many people who have loved and supported us – both individually and as a couple – over the years. As we began sharing this adoption journey with our people, we have received nothing but love and excitement.
When we relocated from Kentucky to Indiana in late 2021, we moved to a very rural part of the state. This is very similar to where I spent some of my childhood: barns, corn fields, cows, a 4-way stop, and a couple gas stations. It is quaint, quiet, and friendly, which is what both of us and our dog needed after the hustle and bustle of the busy city life we came from. We are within 15-20 minutes of most things we need on a daily basis (grocery stores, restaurants, parks, a hospital, banks, etc.). If we drive out another 15 min or so, we will be in the larger city where there are fun children’s museums, zoos, and things we cannot wait to explore with a child.
As I mentioned, we had humble beginnings and have not forgotten those times. The things our parents were not great at, we want to be so much better. The things we were not afforded to do, we want to ensure we have the means and opportunity to provide those things to a child. The world is filled with chaos, so we want to instill strong values, reiterate that there are still a lot of good people in the world, and remind a child that, regardless of what happens, we will always give them a “soft place to land.”
Neither of us really had traditions of any kind growing up, so we want a chance to create those with a precious child. Rodney and I have established some fun ones over our 17 years together, so you’re in for a treat!
1st Day of Football Season – We make our 1st pot of chili for the season, break out our sports gear, and check out Rodney’s favorite teams!
Annual Birthday Dinner – We treat each other to a different restaurant of their choosing each birthday dinner!
Christmas Cookie Baking – My girlfriends and I started a cookie-baking tradition before we were all “boo’ed up.” Every year in early December, you will find me and a few other ladies starting as early as 6am, covered in flour and sugar, scooping cookie dough onto sheets, singing, and laughing together as we make our Christmas cookie magic happen. Our husbands enjoy their respective jobs as the “tasters!”
Christmas Tree Lighting – My requirement as we decorate the Christmas tree is listening to and singing Christmas music. Rodney secretly loves it, but he will not admit it. I need a partner in crime!
Thanksgiving – This is my absolute favorite holiday. Something about the gratefulness and showing appreciation for others, it makes my heart full. Thanksgiving is my jam in that I love to cook AND eat this meal. While I am chopping potatoes, roasting the turkey, baking muffins for the stuffing, whipping up a sweet dessert, you will find ‘The Wizard of Oz’ playing on the TV. This is one of my favorite movies (ever since I was a child) so I made it a mandatory part of my favorite holiday. Rodney loves seeing me in my element, and he also loves enjoying a nap after he finishes eating our feast!
Christmas Eve – Since we started dating, our day to privately celebrate Christmas with one another has been Christmas Eve. He even proposed to me on this day back in 2010. We’ve continued this tradition throughout our marriage by making a special breakfast, putting on our favorite pajamas, and watching our favorite Christmas movies (Rodney – The Christmas Story / Crystal – The Grinch & The Santa Clause).
We’ve spent our 12-year marriage dealing with infertility and being unable to conceive a child. As a woman, it is a devastating realization when your body cannot do what it is naturally designed to. And to go a step further, you cannot give the man you love and adore the chance to be a father. Looking back, I recognize that this issue alone could have torn us apart as it has for so many other couples. But it did not. Our love and respect for one another is strong and our foundation is solid. We have wanted a child to love so badly and have waited so long for it to happen for us. We have a home filled with silliness, laughter and love. There’s only 1 thing missing: a little “chicken nugget” to bless our family.
We are so thankful for you, your journey up to this point, and your willingness to read this and get to know us. We realize this is a difficult time for you as a hard decision is weighing on your shoulders. You will get through this and you will make the best decision – for you and your child. Just know we are thinking of you and supporting you, regardless of the outcome. We are silly, yet fierce and hardworking, but playful and respectful and loving people who are eager to give all of that and more to a child. While our lives and circumstances are very different, Rodney and I understand tough times, difficult challenges, and hard decisions. We see you and have faith you will get through this. Your future is bright and your story is still being written.
No updates at this time.
