We met through mutual friends while we were both in college and dated long distance for about 2 years, until we moved to Alabama (for Morgan’s schooling) and got engaged. We both always say that getting married to each other was both of our best decisions. It’s really true. Over the 15 years we’ve known each other, we have made each other into better people. We view our marriage as a foundational part of our family’s life, and continue to value and prioritize the health of our relationship with each other. We are still learning things from each other and about each other almost every day. One thing we keep at the center of it all is this belief: we are on the same team. No matter what, we both remember that we are not on “opposite” sides of any issues — we are on the same team, together. Becoming parents has deepened the importance of being on the same team and has made our love for each other even richer.
I fell in love with Bryan because of his warmth and amazing sense of humor. Bryan is the kind of person that makes you feel totally comfortable when he is with you because he accepts you for who you are and puts others before himself. Whenever we have someone over, he will figure out their favorite dessert and make it just for them. Bryan is the kind of person who actually makes the world a better place — he picks up bags of litter in our neighborhood multiple times a week, he volunteers to donate blood regularly, and he will spend 10 minutes after grocery shopping returning a bunch of loose shopping carts to the cart corral. He is also incredibly humble and doesn’t do these things to get praise or credit (or likes online; honestly his Instagram is underwhelming) — he’s just a good person. I couldn’t imagine a better dad than Bryan… seriously. He is a steady, calm presence and quickly calms a tantrum with his zen. He is silly and active and will run and jump and chase our son around the playground or backyard. He chose to become a stay-at-home dad because that is what he wanted for our son and for himself: full time attention, safety, and love. Even though it’s hard to describe him in just a few words, he is a gentle soul who loves people fully for who they are and is someone other people genuinely enjoy being around because of his friendliness and good humor.
Morgan is the one who asked me out after we met for the first time, and I am grateful every day that she did. Early on, I couldn’t believe that someone so clever, smart, sarcastic, silly, and kind would be interested in me. Morgan has a love for others that is rare in this world. It is whole, real, and available to everyone she meets; it shows up even more so in her relationships with friends and family. She is the type of person a friend will call for advice out-of-the-blue and will then give up hours of her time to help them talk things through and heal their heart in the process. She makes a positive impression on everyone she meets, and it is a pleasure for anyone (myself included) just to spend time with her. You are instantly comfortable with her, just by the calm, warm, and open energy she gives. Morgan is a lifelong learner and is always working to gather information and experiences which allow her to grow both in knowledge and as a person. She seeks to affirm the soul and spirit of every individual. I love the inside jokes, silly nonsense, and “I can barely breathe because we’re laughing so hard” moments she creates for us that have not slowed down in the fifteen years we have been together. As a mother, she is all these things and more. She is an absolute champion for Zion, pouring herself into him in a way that allows him to grow into the best, authentic version of himself more and more every day. She loves him both fiercely and tenderly and is his number one advocate in all things and in all situations. I know with confidence that she will be this same type of mother for another child, too.
We are very lucky to have a close-knit family who all genuinely like each other. On Bryan’s side, we have a large extended family, including his 5 brothers and sisters and their spouses, his parents, and his aunt. We have 4 nephews and 8 nieces… so far! That is 12 built-in best friends for Zion, and he is always asking “are my cousins going to be there?” The whole family gets together every other Sunday for lunch and family time at grandma and grandpa’s house (Bryan’s parents).
Morgan’s family is smaller (mom, mom’s long-term partner, dad, stepmom, brother, and stepbrother) and lives in Ohio, but we plan visits with them and especially enjoy playing silly games where we all end up laughing! Even though her parents are divorced, the whole family hangs out together all the time. It sounds like a made-for-TV-movie, but Morgan’s mom and stepmom are good friends! We are also close to Morgan’s aunt, and her family and try to see them a couple times a year for even more fun!
Our friends are simply amazing. Because we have lived in multiple states earlier in our marriage, we have friends all over the country. We keep up with them mostly through texts/calls, but do enjoy making a trip when we can — for example, we took Zion to visit our good friends in Minnesota last summer and he had a blast! Locally, we have a wonderful network of friends ranging from our next door neighbors, with kids Zion’s age, to friends from church who live just down the road (and love to meet up at parks or for dinner), to friends we met through AOI! They are extra special, as our kids share the bond of being adoptees and we can support each other as we continue to grow as adoptive parents.
Being part of a big family means we have so many traditions! Here are just a few:
Sunday Lunch: every other Sunday is Family Sunday Lunch. All Bryan’s siblings (and their spouses, and kids, and sometimes dogs!) gather at Bryan’s parent’s house for Sunday lunch. The food is never fancy — but the time together is what is so special. When it’s warm, we will head to the backyard to play tag or t-ball.
Cousin Camp: A tradition where each August, all the cousins gather at Bryan’s sister’s house for a big overnight camp out. Activities at Cousin Camp include tie-dying t-shirts, zip-lining, scavenger hunts, and cousin awards.
Christmas: For the big family, we celebrate Christmas which, in addition to plenty of presents from grandma/grandpa and Aunt Dixie, also includes games and craft activities planned by the aunts and uncles. Last year, for example, there was a Christmas dance party with balloons and techno Christmas music! For our little family each year, Bryan reads “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and we record the videos, so that when the kids are older we can see them grow each year.
Friday Movie Night: Each Friday, we have a special “picnic dinner” on the living room floor and watch a movie together!
Anniversary Artwork: Since we got married, each year on our anniversary our family picks a new piece of art to commemorate another year together. It’s very special to watch the walls of our house fill up with meaningful artwork.
We live in a diverse city with excellent parks and playgrounds. We live in a vibrant, walkable city neighborhood where we know many of our neighbors. Our house is a brick, ranch-style home with 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms. Our house is full of color, vibrant artwork, and warm energy. The main living area is on one floor, but we do have a basement with a cozy play area for kids. Our house faces the river and is on a city-wide walking/biking path we use all the time! We have a fenced-in backyard that is perfect for running, t-ball practice, and finding bugs. We enjoy being outside doing landscaping projects, and Zion loves to “help.” Bryan is our resident gardener and currently grows several kinds of berries and three varieties of apples!
We are part of our city in many ways, and this is very important to us. We have been working with neighbors to launch a neighborhood association that advocates for our local area within the city and fosters neighbor-to-neighbor aid. We belong to a church that is open, affirming (all genders, racial identities, sexual orientations, and religious beliefs) and meets in the heart of the downtown area. We donate regularly to organizations in our city that support people most in need. It is important to us to model to our family that community means showing up, even when it is easier to stay home.
Zion will soon begin attending preschool just a few blocks from our house, at a public school that has an excellent Montessori program. We chose the school for its academic reputation and diverse student population. As a racially diverse family, it is of the greatest importance to us that Zion is in frequent contact with kids (and adults!) who look like him.
Our family values are so important to us. Our family cheer (all hands in, “Teamwork makes the dream work!”) started as a cute joke, but has taken on a life of its own; we use it to remind each other that we are all at our best when we are working together. We value affection: we are a household of hugs and kisses, cuddles and “I love you”s. We value finding joy in small things in life (like a walk in the woods or a popsicle during bathtime), being truly kind to others (and each other), and having a great sense of humor. We model the importance of family by showing up and spending time together. As an adoptive family, we want our kid(s) to know their adoption story from day 1, and always speak with kindness about birth families. Although Zion’s birth family has not chosen to have a relationship with us at this time, if they ever change their mind, we will be waiting with open arms (and with so many pictures to share!). A birth family and adoptive family are part of the same team to create the best life for a child — and we are ready to be put in the game!
Our number one goal as parents is to support the development of a child into the person he or she was born to be. For us, that means encouraging them to follow their interests and passions (especially if they are different from our own!), helping them understand and express their feelings, and providing a safe, supportive household built on the foundation of a loving marriage. There will be nothing they could ever do that would make us love them even an ounce less — because we believe that love cannot be earned, but is given because they are a person who deserves to be loved. We will always encourage open and honest communication and model this behavior for them by showing them how we can communicate honestly with each other and them (in age appropriate ways). Being parents has taught us the importance of being able to say, “I’m sorry; I was wrong. I’m going to do better next time.”
Adoption is special to us for many reasons. Morgan’s family has a strong history of adoption, which feels meaningful. Adoption was the right choice for us as we considered our journey to become parents, and faced the reality of our infertility. However, most importantly, adoption is how Zion came to join our family. We know that the reality of adoption is complex — full of sadness and joy, gain and loss. We also know that adoption has been a gift in our family. Raising Zion and watching him bloom into his own, unique, amazing person who doesn’t “take after us” is delightful. We don’t need him to be like us — we need him to be like him! We look forward to starting a new adoption journey.
Bryan will continue as a full time stay-at-home dad, likely until at least the time the youngest child starts 1st grade. Morgan gets to take off 16-weeks of leave from her job when the baby is born, and we are looking forward to that special time bonding as a whole family together. We truly value our family-time, and can’t wait to experience this with another little one.
First and foremost, we are so genuinely grateful you took the time to read about our little family. Thank you. No matter what you choose next, we have a few hopes for you that we would like to share:
We hope you know you are loved and valued, for exactly who you are.
We hope you feel safe and secure.
We hope you know that the sun shines bright after even the biggest storms.
We hope for peace in your decision-making process, both now and in the future.
Thank you, again, for taking the time. We hope our paths may cross, and we get the chance to meet you!
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