There’s so much to be said about Tyler, but what I love most is how unapologetically fierce he is. He loves Henry and I fiercely, and he would do just about anything for Henry. Tyler is also an amazing cook and usually spends his free time in the kitchen. If it weren’t for him, we’d likely starve! I also appreciate how willing he was to give up his full-time career as a flight attendant in order to be home and raise Henry. This just shows what kind of dad he is! Those two have a very special bond after spending so much time together – I’m basically chopped liver to Henry (just kidding!)
Jarron is someone who cares deeply about the people in his life – his family, friends, and the patients he serves every day. He’s incredibly intelligent and endlessly curious; he’s the kind of person who is always learning something new. It’s not unusual to find him with a book in his hand, whether he’s researching ways to better care for his patients or rereading one of the three or four books he loves so much that he’s gone through multiple times. While he may occasionally prove that being brilliant doesn’t always mean being the most “street smart,” his kindness, dedication, and genuine heart are what truly define him. Jarron has a quiet, steady way of showing up for the ones he loves, and it’s one of the many reasons he’s such an incredible dad.
We are blessed to have our parents as our primary support system for the past several years. In fact, Tyler’s mother was in the waiting room when Henry was born. Tyler’s parents and two siblings live 30 minutes away, and Henry gets to see them and his cousins often. Jarron’s mother and his four siblings live about 2 hours away, and we typically see them on holidays, birthdays, and various family functions. Grandma Jenny visits us as much as she can during her free time.
We also have a unique friendship with Henry’s birth mother, one that is very special. We text with her frequently and try to get together throughout the year. This has been important for us as parents, as we’d like Henry to have the opportunity to know her and his half siblings.
We have a few really close friends from college, some of which are starting families of their own as well. It’s been really great, even as fairly new parents, to share tips and advice with each other. Moving to a somewhat rural area made both of us a little nervous since we are gay, but we were surprised at how welcoming our neighbors have been. They are now some of the core people in our community. We met an amazing interracial couple that made us feel right at home. During the Black Lives Matter protests, we stood with and in support of them and others in our community.
Another area of support is our church family. We are members of a local Lutheran church and feel very loved and supported there. Henry enjoys the nursery, which gives us time to listen to the service. We were both raised in homes that incorporated faith and would like our child(ren) to have that, too.
We believe that raising a child in a loving home is very important. Values we care about include showing love, kindness, and service to everyone.
As we prepared for our first adoption, we both knew that Tyler would take advantage of parental leave benefits and stay home for 6 months after Henry was born. Jarron was able to take time off as well for the first month and also changed his schedule to 4 days per week instead of 5 to be home more. The plan, initially, was for Tyler to return to work after his leave, but we both immediately knew that wouldn’t be the case. Being able to have one parent stay at home has been such a blessing to all three of us. Around the time Henry turned 2, we began working with First Steps, an early intervention group that helps provide services for speech and other developmental delays. Because Tyler has been able to be a stay-at-home dad, he was also very involved in those therapy sessions, usually twice a week.
After we received Henry’s autism diagnosis, we began to learn not just about autism, but also that we would need to be an even bigger advocate for him as he gets older. We’ve learned so much already and are deeply committed to ensuring Henry receives the various services to continue learning and growing. He currently is loving preschool, where he gets to work with a speech therapist and special education teacher through an IEP. His IEP is something we worked on with his school to set goals and find ways that he can learn alongside his classmates.
Growing up, both of us lived in communities, and went to schools, with very little diversity. We care deeply that our child(ren) is exposed to different cultures, races, and religions. One way we do that with our 4 year old is by visiting the Children’s Museum, which frequently has exhibits exploring different cultures and countries around the world. It’s so fun seeing him take interest in the exhibits. Our church also has a Racial Justice Team that routinely hosts discussions and book readings on various topics affecting minority communities locally.
Another value we hold close is that of service to others. As our kiddo(s) get older, we hope to spend time volunteering in and around our community to give them a closer look at the world around us.
Several years ago, when Tyler was much younger, his family would celebrate Christmas together by taking a trip to a nearby area. Everyone stayed in a cabin together, we made ornaments out of cinnamon and applesauce, to decorate a tree. As his siblings and us began starting families of our own, they decided to start this tradition back up. Its something the whole family looks forward to. It’s a time where we can all be together, which can be hard at times in this busy world. Taking turns cooking meals, playing cards together, watching the kids play and just being present with the ones we love is something truly special during these trips!
We love our house and neighborhood! Our home has a large living room, four bedrooms, and a basement. (Henry prefers the basement, where he can run, scream, and play.) Our hardwood floors have seen better days, but you could say it is a good sign that we enjoy the space.
We live on a cul-de-sac, and our neighbors are amazing. There is an obvious feeling of community support. July 4th represents that – everyone gets together for food and pool fun. We end the day watching the fireworks together! This has been a fun tradition and we hope to make more as our family grows.
We have a fire pit on our back patio and enjoy sitting outside during the fall. The high school is behind our house, and we can easily hear the crowd cheer during the football season. Henry’s preschool and the public library are only about one mile away.
During the warmer months, we love to take walks through the neighborhood. Henry especially loves collecting sticks, rocks, leaves, or just about anything we find along the way. We’re excited to get bikes this summer and enjoy rides through our community!
Adoption may have been a hard decision for you, and we promise to raise a child in a way that honors your story. It is important to us that a child understands who their mother is — as a same sex male couple, they will never have another mother but you! This relationship has worked well with Henry’s birth mother, and we offer you the same. We also promise to show them how diverse the world is. Respect for race, culture, and differences will also be a part of their upbringing.
