We met online during the pandemic. Our first few dates were on Zoom. On one of our online dates, we cooked dinner and then ate together, all by video. After that, we met for a socially distanced winter hike and had cookies and tea at opposite ends of a picnic table. We hit it off immediately and went on lots more hikes that winter. Travis was brave enough to meet Elisa’s parents and friends on our third in-person date on New Year’s Eve. About 8 months later, we got engaged on our back porch. Our neighbors took our engagement photos right in our backyard and woods. The following summer, we had an outdoor wedding and reception in a former school (which delighted Elisa’s teacher’s heart). This summer we look forward to celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary.
As a couple, we love spending time together and share many hobbies. We usually take at least one hike a week and enjoy the exercise, nature, and quality time together. Canning projects typically fill several evenings a week in the late summer and fall, as we put up the produce we grow to provide food for the winter and to share with loved ones. During the summer, we go to a lake multiple times a week to swim and hang out with friends. In the winter, we enjoy the hot tub as a way to be outside together, despite the temperatures. Something we enjoy is having Elisa’s parents come over, working on farm projects together, and sharing a meal. We also like cooking or grilling and hosting friends and family at our house or in our backyard. One of the things we enjoy doing together is learning new things, often choosing to watch documentaries, history shows, and how-to videos that can help us farm better. We also like to travel together, whether it’s camping, a weekend in Chicago, or a trip to see friends or family in another state.
Travis is smart, hardworking, and thoughtful. Though we have different interests, I learn so much from our conversations and all of the interesting facts he shares with me. He’s extremely hardworking, both in terms of his job and on the farm. He is willing to make sacrifices and put in the work to make our mutual and individual dreams a reality. Travis challenges and supports me to learn new skills. He’s good at explaining something, letting me try things out on my own, and giving advice when asked. We’ve achieved a great deal together for our home and farm, thanks to his attitude and encouragement. As a husband, Travis is kind and creative. Whether it’s bringing me a cup of coffee in bed so I can enjoy the sunrise or making a special breakfast on the weekend, he’s so thoughtful. His creativity comes out in planning gatherings with our family or a spontaneous picnic or dinner date. Travis is constantly thinking about and planning for our family’s future and putting in the legwork to remodel a part of our home, pay off a bill ahead of schedule, or think ahead about what tools we might need on our farm. As a parent, I think Travis will be affectionate, fully involved, and excited to make each day a learning opportunity for a child. He plans to be a child’s primary caregiver for the first years of their life. I can’t wait to see how they’ll enjoy our woods, farm, and town together.
Elisa is very smart, kind, and dedicated to whatever she decides to take on. She has a real heart for children and pours her heart out to help both kids and educators learn and grow. She is a great listener; she listens closely and gives advice with kindness and empathy. She knows what it is like to be different, since she grew up overseas. Elisa genuinely wants what is best for people and works hard to do what’s in her power to make the world a better place. She challenges me and the people in our lives to think about things from another point of view. As a mom, I think Elisa will be patient, loving, committed, and sometimes silly. I imagine her singing songs with our child, exploring nature together, picking flowers, and reading lots of books.
Both of us have parents living in the area. We visit each other regularly, work on projects together, and enjoy meals. Travis’ dad and stepmom live a few states away, so we try to exchange visits a couple times a year. Elisa’s siblings also live in other states, so we keep in touch by Facetime, a family text chat, and regular visits. Last year, we went on vacation to the Dominican Republic with Elisa’s side of the family. It was a really special trip because the DR is where Elisa and her siblings grew up and where they learned Spanish. Travis’ group of childhood friends are also like family. They get together several times a year and keep in touch by phone. We’ve made friends in our community through work, our hobbies, volunteering, and church as well. Our friends, family, and colleagues are excited to welcome a child into our family and to pitch in however they can.
We’re very passionate about being involved in our community. The farmer’s market we sell at is a town project to improve food security. Elisa has also volunteered with immigrant and refugee organizations. We are active in our church, participating in events and volunteering. There are lots of programs for kids at our church. We enjoy attending local events and festivals as well, especially in the summer. There are lots of kid-friendly activities in our community like playgrounds, parks, sledding hills, hiking trails, biking trails, and libraries. We can’t wait to enjoy everything the area has to offer alongside a future child.
Travis parented his previous partner’s children for five years. He was also a camp counselor for children in the foster care system. And Elisa loves children, which is why she became a teacher. Travis calls her a “kid magnet,” because wherever we go, children seek her out. Our friends and family frequently comment that we will be good parents.
Elisa values helping children develop kindness and empathy for others. She wants to help a child build relationships with people in our community and help others in whatever way we can. She likes to make up songs and rhymes and wants a child’s life to be full of joy and play. Travis believes raising children is helping them learn to become as empowered and self-sufficient as possible. He wants to help kids make their own decisions and understand the consequences of them. It’s important to him that a child understand how to manage money and respect people, regardless of how much of it they have. Travis also has a silly side and believes it’s important to not take life too seriously. He loves to take our family on spontaneous outings.
Some of the things we love that we plan to share with a child are time outdoors, caring for animals, growing your own food, and loads of reading. We both highly value education, both in terms of academic and practical skills. We will nurture a child’s natural talents and help them explore the world around them. We believe in open and honest communication, both in our relationship and with a child. We’ll strive to answer a child’s questions, including about their adoption story and birth family, in age-appropriate ways. Travis’ parents modelled telling the story of his adoption in really positive ways as he grew up and will be a great source of support and advice.
As an interracial and intercultural family, we are open to adopting a child of any background. Elisa is white and a native Spanish-speaker. She was born in Honduras and grew up in the Dominican Republic. Linguistically and culturally, she is a blend of both white and Latino cultures. Travis is biracial—black and white—and his adoptive parents are white. We think that our family will be a supportive environment for a child from a different racial, ethnic, or cultural background to grow up in. We also acknowledge that we will continue to learn new ways to help a child grow in their identity and understand their heritage, no matter what race or ethnicity.
We both grew up in Christian homes—Travis in a Protestant household and Elisa in a Mennonite home. As a family, we continue to value our faith as a moral compass, motivation to serve and help others, and reason to be involved in our community. Our church is large and racially diverse. Through services, small group gatherings, events, and weekly children’s ministry, a child would be able to build relationships with children and adults from many backgrounds. Our church is also a welcoming congregation in terms of LBGTQ+ community, so no matter how a child looked or identified, they would be welcomed into the church community.
Shadow, the cat, is our only pet at the moment. In the next few years, we plan to add chickens to our farm. It will be fun to feed them and collect their eggs with a child. Since much of our 3 acres is wooded, we enjoy lots of wildlife on the property. Almost every day, we see songbirds, turkeys, deer, squirrels, and chipmunks. At night, we hear owls and coyotes. Twice, we’ve even spotted a fox!
From the very beginning of our relationship, we both knew we wanted to become parents. However, we were very open to multiple pathways to parenthood, including adoption. We tried to have biological children for several years and did fertility treatments, but were unsuccessful. After weighing our options, we decided to pursue adoption because what’s most important to us is to be able to parent a child. Additionally, both of our extended families have experience with adoption. Some of Elisa’s cousins and nephews are adoptees as well as Travis himself.
To a child:
To you, a child’s birth mom:
We hold deep respect for you and the path that has brought you here. Thank you for considering adoption and for allowing us to be part of your life. We want you to know that your child will always know about you—the love behind your decision and the parts of your story you feel comfortable sharing. We are committed to building a relationship with you that is rooted in kindness, honesty, and mutual respect, and to walking this journey together with empathy and care.
